Clark meets Clara
by randomchick1995
Summary: So I felt really bad about waiting so long to update Smallville: The Other Side. So this is my peace offering. It has nothing to do with the original story, other than to make fun of it and Smallville in general. Clark meets Clara, his female counterpart from my story. Enough said.


**AN: So I felt really bad about waiting so long to update Smallville: The Other Side. So this is my peace offering. It has nothing to do with the story, but in my opinion, it's pretty funny. Clark meets Clara. Enough said. Spoilers for my real story, I guess, but if you didn't know I was writing a Clex fic by now, then too bad.**

Crossover Realities

Clara woke up to a splitting headache. Weird. The last thing she remembered was going to bed. "Hello? She's awake!"

"Is she gonna be okay, doc?" Another, younger voice replied. "Most likely. It's just a good thing you were there to find her Clark. Who knows how long she would have been out there?"

Clara groaned and sat up shakily. "Dude, what hit me?" Her entire body felt like she'd just had a run in with Kryptonite. Not fun. She looked around to see a doctor, and some guy she didn't recognize. This was definitely the Smallville hospital, though. Clara would recognize it anywhere.

"Miss, do you know where you are?" Clara raised an eyebrow. "Duh. Smallville, Kansas. Hospital."

The guy frowned. "Do you remember how you got here?" Clara raised an eyebrow. "I've lived here my entire life." He frowned. "I've never seen you before."

Clara rolled her eyes. "Then obviously you weren't looking. As for the hospital thing, I'm assuming you brought me in?" At his nod Clara felt a small wave of panic rush in. This was not good. If anybody found out about her blood work or how an IV wouldn't hook in her arm…life was gonna get messy.

The doctor made notes on his file. "Miss, do you remember you name?" Clara nodded."Clara. Clara Kent."

Both men froze, looking at each other uncertainly. The guy finally spoke. "Did you say Clara Kent?" Clara nodded. "Yes, why?"

The doctor sighed. "I'll let you two talk it out. I'll send a nurse with your clothes."

Clara's eyes darted from him to the stranger. "What's the problem?" He just shook his head and left. The stranger looked at her. His eyes seemed to pierce her soul. She frowned uneasily. Could this be one of Morgan Edge's goons?

"Who are your parents?" Clara bit her lip before answering. "Martha and Jonathan Kent." He shook his head, causing his dark hair to muss slightly. "That's impossible."

Clara crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "And why's that?"

He looked into her eyes. "Because Jonathan and Martha Kent are _my_ parents." Clara's jaw dropped slightly. "Yeah, I could see where that would be a problem. But obviously you're crazy…wait, who are you?"

He stood up straighter. "Clark Kent." Clara raised an eyebrow. 'Clark and Clara? Who's the idiot that came up with that?' "That's impossible. Wait. Am I dreaming? Is this some creepy reality twilight zone thing?" Clark was clearly thinking something over. "This entire situation is weird. All I know is you are not my parent's kid. You appeared out of nowhere, literally."

Clara frowned. "Well, I cannot stay in this hospital." He cocked his head. "Why not?" Clara looked at him. "If you really are me, then surely I don't need to answer that question."

Clara got her clothes and changed. Clark offered to take her back to the farm where they could sort everything out. Clara cautiously accepted. On the drive over they tried to sort out what had really happened.

Clara sat back into the seat of the truck after just having stated her theory. The guy sitting next to her looked just as freaked out as she was. "So you're saying that you're from a different reality and in said reality you're me?!"

Clara scowled, rubbing her temples. "I just said that! Why do you feel the need to summarize past events as if we haven't experienced them? This is life, Clark. There's no fourth wall audience you need to explain to. No scene changes that skip over long drawn out conversations."

'Clark' frowned, embarrassed. "Well, sorry, but this entire situation is just a little bit loopy for me." Clara scowled. "And I don't find it weird? I don't have my parents, my friends…oh, dear gracious. Please tell me you are not friends with Whitney."

Clark frowned. "Whitney's dead."

Clara raised an eyebrow. "What? How'd she die? Did the bug guy get her? Or was it Tina? Serves Whitney right for being such a witch to her…" Clara felt a headache coming on. Did she really just say Whitney deserved to die? Granted she had tried to kill Clara…

Clark nearly swerved off the road. "Whitney's a guy. He was in the military and died on duty…but yes. He wasn't the nicest of guys." Clara bit her lip. "Scarecrow?"

Clark swallowed shakily, nodding. "Worst experience of my life."

Clara barked a laugh. "You're telling me. If it wasn't for Lex I'd be crow food now."

Clark glanced at her. "You know Lex?" Clara frowned. "I know _a _Lex. He's probably not the one from this reality, though…ugh this is so wack. So Whitney's a guy. What about Chloe and Pete?"

Clark shook his head. "They're still Chloe and Pete. Girl and guy. And Lana's still-" Clara cut him off. "Wait, who's Lana?"

"Lana Lang? You don't have a Lana in your reality?" Clara frowned, clearly upset by this information.

"Lana Lang-Oh, you mean Luke. Luke Lang. I wonder what else is different…I mean, its as if somebody rewrote our lives and randomly changed people's genders without any logical reasoning." When they arrived home they quickly relayed the story to Clark's parents. As usual, Jonathan was a bit suspicious. "Son, how do we know she's who you say she is?"

Clara laughed. "It doesn't matter which reality I'm in. Jonathan Kent is always going to be over protective and suspicious of everything…how about I demonstrate?"

Clark frowned. "Demonstrate?" Clara frowned. "Well, if you really are me from this reality, you're adopted, right?" Clark's nod gave her the confirmation she needed. "Okay, so I'm also guessing you came at the meteor shower."

Clark shuffled his feet and looked away from her nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Clara rolled her eyes angrily and scowled.. "If you are going to lie about something this important, when the person _obviously_ knows the truth anyways, you should at least try to be believable. Your poker face sucks." Clark scowled. Clara ignored his tantrum and continued. (Wasn't she, the girl, supposed to be more emotionally unstable? What was wrong with Clark?)

"As I was saying, I guess that means you're like me to. Can't be near kryptonite, super human abilities, yadda yadda yadda…My kryptonian name is Kala-El." She looked at Clark expectantly.

Clark shrugged as if to say 'what the heck'. "Kal-El."

Clara's face lit up. "Cool!" Jonathan cut in. "No, not cool! We don't even know where you came from or why you're here."

Clara shrugged. "I dunno. I went to sleep and woke up here. It's not like I wanted to leave my family and friends behind to visit some wacked up reality with…this as my replacement." She gestured wildly in Clark's direction.

Clark frowned. "Well, I don't understand how this occurred.."

Clara sighed. "Nobody does, Clark. For all I know it could be some weird test our-your-my biological father cooked up. Ah!" She gripped her head. "Pronoun confusion."

Clark just shook his head. Martha sighed. "You two could be clones, if it weren't for the different gender thing. As it is you look like twins." Clara tried looked at Clark objectively. He had her dark hair and tanned skin. Her eyes and defined facial structure, although more chiseled. She nodded. "Yeah, I could see that. Has anybody told you that you're very pretty for a boy?"

Clark sputtered but was interrupted before he could retort. "Knock, knock. Anybody home?" Clara's face lit up enormously. She spun around. "Lex?"

The man walked through the door, a confused, but pleasant smile on his face. "Well, you know my name, but I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you, Miss-"

"Call me Clara. I'm from an alternate reality." Lex's face froze, as did most of the room.

Clark laughed nervously. "Ah, Clara. You'll have to forgive her. She's a kidder."

Clara scowled at his interference. "No I'm not, Clark. It's not a big deal. A lot freakier things have gone on in this town than this."

She looked over Lex, studying him. "It's weird seeing you like this. My Lex is a lot more…I don't know if there's a word for it. Just different, I guess."

Lex raised an eyebrow. "Is this for real?"

Clara nodded. "I'm from an alternate reality. I'm Clark. Only smarter and better looking."

Lex glanced at her. "And a girl."

"Isn't that what I just said?" Clara said, smiling teasingly.

Clark wanted to claw his eyes out. This wasn't happening. This version of him, her, was _flirting_ with Lex. He was going to need therapy. "Honestly, Clark. It's not like Lex is gonna do anything bad. It's just a super weird situation, not an alien invasion."

Clara laughed at her own joke. but Clark's face was still frozen in panic. Lex looked to Clark. "Is this true? Is there any proof?"

Clark sighed, finally giving in. "If by proof she can recount every day of my life and all my childhood memories, plus some details nobody else knows, then yes."

Lex frowned. "And she knows about me?"

Clara sighed, jumping up on the counter. "_She_ is right in front of you. And before you freak out, just know this. Lex in my universe is my best friend." Plus more, but let's not get into that now. "I won't do anything stupid to hurt you Lex."

He seemed to think for a moment before nodding. "Well, this is absolutely remarkable. How did you get here."

Clara shrugged. "Heck if I know. I was just heading to Lex's for movie night when there was this big explosion and boom. I'm here. Where there's a male dead Whitney, no Luke and paranoid look a likes of my parents are questioning my very existence."

Clark raised an eyebrow. "You and Lex have movie nights?" Lex frowned. "So who's Luke?" Clark frowned. "Her reality's version of Lana."

Clara shrugged. "I guess. This entire situation is really giving me a headache. And no offense, but I don't like this reality with all the gender switch ups. It's creepy." Clara stifled a giggle at the thought of Clark and Lex snuggled up on the couch for movie night.

Another voice interrupted the group. "Hello? Clark? Are you ready to go?"

Clara blinked as a pretty brunette stepped into the kitchen. Did the whole town just show up in this guy's kitchen? "Lana!" Clark walked towards her, purposely blocking Clara from her view. "Uh, yeah...give me a second to go change."

He glanced at Clara suspiciously. "You gonna be okay while I'm gone?" Clara rolled her eyes, putting her hand over her heart. "I, Clara, do solemnly swear to not destroy the world while you prepare for your...date?" She looked at Lana for confirmation. Lana looked confused, but nodded.

Clara raised an eyebrow, smirking devioiusly. Clark swallowed and left to go upstairs. Lana looked at Lex. "Somebody want to tell me what's going on?" Clara shrugged. If Lana was anything like Luke, she couldn't handle crazy. Or weird. Or alternate dimensions where her boyfriend was a girl. "I'm Clarks' half-sister. Biologically." She gestured towards Lex. "Lex here was kind enough to assist in my search for my family. So here we are."

Lana frowned, nodding slightly. "Yes, here we are..." she looked at Mr. and Mrs. Kent. "Is this legit?"

Jonathan shrugged. "Ask Lex. We're, uh, still reeling from the shock..." With that the Kents left. They'd given up trying to understand.

Clara bit back a chuckle at Lex's deer in the headlights look. She decided to save him. "Well, I'm sorry if I distracted Clark from getting ready for your date. I'm afraid I don't have the best timing."

Lana forced a smile. "Well, that's alright. Any relative of Clark's is a friend of mine." Clara laughed. If only she'd met Jor-El. "You remind me of this guy I know back home. You could be siblings."

Lana smiled. "Well, I hope that's a good thing." Clara shrugged. It wasn't exactly an insult. Clark came down. "So, uh, Clara. You can stay here, and..."

Lana shook her head. "Oh, no, Clark! You just met your sister for the first time. I can't take you away from her now."

Clara shook her head. "Honestly, it's okay. I'll chill with Lex or something."

Clark frowned. "Maybe I should stay..."

Clara pushed the two off them out the door. "Nonsense. Go. I'll be here when you get back." Clark stopped her before he got in the car. "Look. I don't know about your Lex, but be careful. He doesn't know about me...us. No aliens or krypton or anything. Just keep it on the down low." Clara's eyes widened.

"You didn't tell him? Why-?" Clark cut her off. "I got to go, keep safe."

Clara rolled her eyes and went to the house. Lex was talking with Clark's parents. Clara raised an eyebrow. "I thought I felt my ears burning. What's up?" They turned towards me.

Jonathan frowned. "Well, what are we going to do now?" Clara shrugged. "I just want to get home." Jonathan sighed. "Look, Clara, we know this is a very strange situation, but you have to understand this from our side, how difficult this is for us…"

Clara sighed. "Look, Dad- I mean Mr. Kent..." It felt nearly painful to act so formal with her dad. "I really don't care about how hard this is for Clark. He's not the one who's stuck in a messed up reality where nothing is making sense. I mean Lana Lang? What kind of name is that?" She took in a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I'm sorry, but this is a whole lot more crazy for me than it is for any of you. I miss my family, my friends, and my boyfriend especially."

Martha patted my shoulder comfortingly. "We'll try to get you back home to him...Luke, right?" Clara snorted. "Me and Luke? Not likely."

Jonathan's eyebrows furrowed. "Then who-?"

Clara looked at him calmly. "I'm dating Lex." Lex started choking on his coffee. "W-what!?"

Clara glanced at him. "Sorry didn't think I was _that_ hideous. I like to think I have my own charm."

He coughed. "No, I'm sorry, it's just that this is a bit farfetched. No offense. I mean, we have you spouting off some memories of Clark's and now you think we're dating in your reality..." Clara rolled her eyes. "You have a scar on your upper left thigh." Lex's face turned red. "Well, that doesn't..."

Clara sighed. "You told me it was from a polo accident. I believe your exact words were 'worst mistake ever'." Lex sighed, drawing a hand over his face. "This is very odd-"

Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest. "Does your father know about this, young lady? Because if he's anything like me I can't see how he would approve of you dating...him."

Clara scowled. "Name one thing Lex has done to hurt you. Or Clark. If you want people to see your son beyond the surface, beyond his "quirks" then you better believe you should give the same courtesy to everyone else. I have half a mind to-"

"Clara?!" She spun around to see Lex-her Lex- walking into the Kent kitchen. Clara's jaw dropped. 'What is it with everyone meeting in this kitchen? It's not like it's close by for anyone...' She stepped forward. "Lex? Is that you? How-" He rushed forward, pulling her into a hug. "It's all very bizarre, but I think I found the way home. It's in the caves, and-" Clara pulled him towards her tightly, whispering in his ear. "Keep the alien talk to a minimum. Not everyone here knows."

He nodded before pulling back. "Mr. and Mrs. Kent..." He looked at Clara. "They are the Kents, right?" She nodded. "And that's this version of me?"

Clara nodded. Lex offered his hand to his counterpart, who hesitantly accepted. "Well, I stand corrected. Meeting Clara was an…interesting experience."

Her Lex laughed. "I almost feel sorry for you. Clara can be pretty stubborn when she sets her mind to it... I'm sorry, this is too strange… meeting myself." He turned to Clara. "You never said I was this handsome."

Clara laughed. "As if you need the ego boost. You think meeting yourself is strange? Wait till Clark shows up."

Her Lex wrapped a hand around her waist and frowned. "Clark? Competion?" Clara laughed. That was an idea she did _not_ need in her head…ugh she was going to need therapy. "Hardly. He's dating Lana, anyways." At his confused face she smiled. "Clark is the male version of me, and Lana is the female version of Luke. They're dating."

"Well that's disconcerting." Clara smirked. "Yes, because Luke was _so_ attractive to me before. I might run away with him now. We'll have 400 kids and name them all Luke. Even the girls."

Clara's Lex raised an eyebrow. "I'll just have to try extra hard to keep you interested." Clara laughed at Lex's evil smirk. "Do your worst." Lex pulled Clara in for a kiss.

"Mom, dad, forgot my...jacket." Clark's and Lana's eyes widened as they saw Lex and Clara kissing. "Clara?! Lex!? What the-"

Clara laughed as she pulled back from Lex's embrace. "Oh. Hey guys. Lex here was just explaining how I was gonna get home."

Lana raised an eyebrow. "Explaining, huh? Does anybody else find this odd?"

The room, other than the other Lex who'd decided to hide instead of get nightmares from himself kissing ANY version of Clark paused. When the silence came, he peeked his head into the room. Clara just winked at him and he swore for a second she looked exactly like Clark.

And that's when Lex Luthor, best friends with Clark Kent, decided that he needed therapy. And perhaps a loooong vacation away from Smallville.

Something were just a little too weird to dwell on.

But that's how Clara liked it.


End file.
